Unpossible

Somehow, members of the Gun Blobby produced a video showing how “easy” it is to stop a .50 Caliber Terror Rifle.

We suspect they used complex CGI to generate this scene. (Possibly borrowing a super-computer from Dave Hardy.) A mere tube of metal cannot stop an anti-armor, anti-tank, anti-aircraft, anti-superhero rifle.

The only other explanation is that this tube is made out of Unobtainium. Those tricky bastards in the Gun Blobby know it is almost impossible to obtain Unobtainium; it’s damn near unpossible. We certainly can’t coat massive jetliners with it. Once again, the Gun Blobby toys with our communities. And our Lives.

Ronnie Barrett yet again could not be reached for comment. [He's probably smuggling .50 Caliber Terror Rifles to Mexico as we speak. -- ed]

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

The NRA apparently sent some wheelbarrows full of cash to Bill Amend’s house:

Curse that Bill Amend.

.50 Caliber Terror: Pneumatic Edition

Fifty caliber rifles have terrorized America in many different forms. Well, the VPC Blog has discovered an entirely new and frightening form of the Five-Zero Horror:

It can slay dragons.

The Fifty Caliber Air Rifle. There’s even a video demonstration:

This air gun, made in South Korea, is capable of killing a man. We have not yet tested its effectiveness against airplanes, but we are positive helicopters are in danger.

Worst of all, it doesn’t count as a firearm, so any schoolchild in America can purchase one. It is only a matter of time before terrorists and South Side Ballas wield this weapon. Call and write to your Congressman today. Better yet, give money to the Brady Campaign. They need it.

Ronnie Barrett could not be reached for comment.

Mata Caballero

For those not in the know, the title means “Knight Killer”. That’s the name that Spanish gangsters gave to the new breed of weapons capable of piercing platemail. These anti-armor handguns and rifles continue to show up on the streets of Madrid and Toledo. Of the many thousands confiscated, 90% can be tracked back to the United States. Spanish steel is no match for this threat.

This piece of armor encountered a thug with a "Mata Caballero". This rifle can pierce steel armor. Concealable Mata Caballeros.

Gun Manufacturers continue to create increasingly powerful firearms capable of killing our brave knights. D.C. versus Heller proved that Reasonable Restrictions, such as restrictions on armor piercing ammunition, are constitutional. The VPC Blog recommends that all firearms capable of piercing platemail be banned from sale within the United States and restrictions placed on their export.

NRA Shills: The New York Times

In the aftermath of D.C. versus Heller, we at the VPC Blog have decided to go on the offensive, attacking anyone who ever paid lip service to the NRA extremists. First up, and surprisingly, is the New York Times.

While the New York Times largely supports our desire for Reasonable Gun Control, this was not always the case. Back in the year 1856, a reporter, undoubtedly receiving wheelbarrows full of cash, wrote a piece on the calling forth of the New York City militia:

According to the law of this State, every citizen is bound to parade once a year, “armed and equipped as the law directs,” excepting those for good and sufficient reasons.

The reporter acts like he expects the bulk of the people of New York City to be armed! And he calls them the “ununiformed militia”; probably a new Gun Blobber term for right-wing militia whackos. Fortunately, he also writes:

…It is the legal duty of the Captain of each company to notify all the citizens in his district to attend the parade. This is found to be almost impossible, and is the cause of much irregularity, as it often occurs that notices are served to those legally exempt…

…The majority of those who appeared on the street corners on Monday, were poor Germans and Irishmen who couldn’t afford to pay…

…and in no squad could we get more than two “armed and equipped as the law directs.”

…the proceeds are said to be equally divided among the organized companies for their benefit…

This proves Michael Bellesiles correct. There was no gun culture before the American Civil War. Sure, the Gun Blobbers will complain that a bunch of poor immigrants won’t bother paying for a relatively expensive musket or rifle, but we at the VPC Blog know the situation in New York City reflected the national view on arms.

And the article says nothing about handguns (a perfect weapon for city-living), so, according to the “Michael A. Bellesiles method of data gathering“, no handguns were owned by those immigrants, either.

We ask all our readers to mail the editors of the New York Times and demand a retraction to this 150 year old story. It reflects an endorsement of the extremist view of the Second Amendment and should be expunged from their archives.