Guns ‘n’ Mexico

The ATF has stated that “over 90 percent of the traced firearms originate from the U.S.”

Logically, this means that 90% of the firearms in Mexico have a U.S. origin.  Any Brady Campaign-endorsed Logician should agree with that statement.

Here are percentages of weapons and other contraband that come from the U.S.:

• 90% of all grenades
• 90% of all rocket launchers
• 90% of all artillery pieces
• Bizarrely, 90% of all drugs come from the U.S. as well.
• 90% of assault weapons (remember, that’s the even more deadly semi-automatic version; not the just-plain-deadly full-auto version)
• 90% of all Rickrolls

There are over 100 million AK-type rifles in world today. All of them are apparently located within the United States. That’s why 90% of the cartels’ guns come from the U.S. All other areas of the world are gun free and absolutely peaceful.

The RPG-7 can be purchased in any of the many gun stores in the United States. We swear.

What’s most important is that everyone who is reading this should just stop thinking and do whatever the Violence Policy Center, the Brady Campaign, and Barack Obama order us to do.

.30 Caliber Terror

The world has yet to heed the warnings of the VPC regarding .50 caliber rifles, but there is a new threat on the horizon: .30 caliber rifles.  These deadly military arms are flooding onto The Streets and threatening the safety of our communities.

Babar -- Assassinated by Robert Mugabe.

Just how deadly is the .30 Caliber? 95% of all small arms casualties in World War I and World War II were caused by .30 caliber rifles.  They also shot down 95% of planes during World War I and a significant number of planes during World War II. Additionally, poachers in Africa frequently use .30 caliber machine guns to kill innocent elephants.  The bipedal head-of-state Babar was killed in such a manner. Even today, .30 caliber weapons cause a tremendous number of deaths worldwide.

Gun Whackos like to claim that .30 caliber rifles have legitimate sporting use, but we found out the truth. The range of a .30 caliber sniper rifle is 1,000 meters; ten times what a deer hunter needs. Some can even reach out to 1,500 meters; twenty times what a deer hunter needs. What legitimate, AHSA-approved hunter needs to shoot 1,000 yards?  None, that’s who.

Not only can .30 caliber rifles shoot a great distance, they can also penetrate armor. The Polish invented a deadly, anti-tank .30 caliber rifle. It could punch through over half an inch of armor at 300 meters. Clearly, it has the range and power to down an airplane.

How many innocent German tanks were destroyed by this deadly anti-armor weapon? We'll never know.

There are armor piercing, incendiary, and explosive ammunition available for .30 caliber rifles, just like .50 caliber rifles. During World War I and II, incendiary and explosive ammunition were quite effective against airplanes and hydrogen-filled Zeppelins.  In fact, massive Zeppelins could be destroyed by a single incendiary .30 caliber bullet.  The logical result is, of course, that a single hit will down a 747.  Security experts have so far ignored our warnings.

Clearly, an infantry rifle is the greatest threat against aircraft in the world.

During the interwar period, the Japanese changed from 6.5 mm ammunition to .30 caliber just for the increased deadliness and anti-materiel abilities (a.k.a. shoot-down-planes for the uninitiated).  The British armed their planes with .303 British machine guns and devastated the German Luftwaffe in the Battle of Britain.  Even the U.S. mounted a pair of .30 caliber machine guns to defend their Dauntless dive bombers.  Truly, the .30 caliber round is one which devastates aircraft.

Think that’s bad? Well, certain .30 caliber handguns can punch through Kevlar and kill cops.  That’s right: .30 caliber is the perfect cop-killing ammunition for gang-bangers and moonshiners.  Read about it in our next report: “Vest Busters II: 7.62 Boogaloo.”

Don’t Worry

NRA Hypocritically Endorses McCain

John McCain, who only earns a “C” from the NRA, has been endorsed by the National Rifle Association.  Clearly, they flip-flopped.  And it wasn’t just because John McCain was the mastermind of the McCain-Feingold Act which would hamper NRA efforts in fund-raising. The NRA always, and forever, hated John McCain.  Perhaps the pedants out there will say that the NRA endorsement of John McCain just proves how bad Obama is on guns.  Well, the VPC Blog says they’re racist for even suggesting that.  Obama is pro-sportsmen; the AHSA even says so!

McCain isn’t very representative of gun owners anyway. His crimes are:

• Does not support an assault weapons ban.  (Assault weapons which terrorists use to kill cops and children.)
• Endorsed the 5-4 decision in D.C. v Heller.  (A decision which defies all logic and reason.)
• Supports the sale of cop-killing hunting ammunition.  (Caused by a loophole in the original bullet ban.)
• Supports the sale of .30 caliber anti-aircraft ammunition.  (The deadly .303 Brit shot down numerous German aircraft during World War II.)
• Picked Sarah Palin to be his Vice Presidential candidate. (An inexperienced moose hunter.  Everyone knows that real hunters don’t hunt moose.)
• Has dared to question Barack’s position on guns.
• Is not endorsed by the American Hunters and Shooters Association.

As we all know, Barack Obama supports all gun owners and has defended them on numerous occasions.  Why, he’s even defended them against the NRA, which doesn’t really represent gun owners like the AHSA.  If the NRA is so representative, why aren’t they doing anything about conservation?  Barack Obama will protect our wildlands, to the degree that even hunting will not be allowed.  Then, everyone can enjoy nature in the same way.

Why do you think Barack Obama joined the Joyce Foundation?  To protect hunters, of course!

(This message has been approved by the Sierra Club and the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.)

Mary McFate, Possibly the Reincarnation of Hitler?

At the risk of reaching the depths of hyperbole and invoking Godwin’s Law, we must question the motivations of Mary McFate.  More importantly, Mike Magnum over at the Gun Guys must question the situation incessantly.  We at the VPC Blog just don’t understand why more people aren’t interested in this major event.

This is the greatest uncovering of an espionage conspiracy since Alger Hiss and the Rosenbergs.  It is unbelievable she got through Ceasefire’s impenetrable security of “asking for full names” and “volunteering for events”.

Later she gained a position of power in the Freedom States Alliance, which supports the the Gun Guys website.  Even worse, she had access to all their secret data, include Mike Magnum’s personal stash of pornography (stored conveniently in gunguys.com/adult, since removed).  If she got on the Brady Campaign’s board, she could have really thrown a wrench into our plot to destroy Constitutional Rights!

As Paul Helmke says, “we’re at a constant disadvantage because we’re honest”.  Remember that the next time .50 Caliber Terror Rifles take down a 747 or a .30-30 Winchester penetrates 600 pounds of safe armor.

Obama Endorses Our Position

Obama told the crowd that McCain and Palin spent most of the convention talking about their biographies.

Palin’s bio is “compelling,” Obama said.

The crowd booed. “No, it’s an interesting story.” More boos. “No, no, it is. I mean that sincerely. Mother, governor, moose shooter.”

The crowd broke out in laughter.

The VPC, Brady Campaign, and AHSA all agree that this is the best lens in which to view hunters.  With humorous laughter.

On election day, remember these words:  Barack Obama does not respect hunters.  And the American Hunters and Shooters Association endorses him.

New Political Sign

Available for free from the Obama campaign, just ask about the Joyce Foundation.

Unpossible

Somehow, members of the Gun Blobby produced a video showing how “easy” it is to stop a .50 Caliber Terror Rifle.

We suspect they used complex CGI to generate this scene. (Possibly borrowing a super-computer from Dave Hardy.) A mere tube of metal cannot stop an anti-armor, anti-tank, anti-aircraft, anti-superhero rifle.

The only other explanation is that this tube is made out of Unobtainium. Those tricky bastards in the Gun Blobby know it is almost impossible to obtain Unobtainium; it’s damn near unpossible. We certainly can’t coat massive jetliners with it. Once again, the Gun Blobby toys with our communities. And our Lives.

Ronnie Barrett yet again could not be reached for comment. [He’s probably smuggling .50 Caliber Terror Rifles to Mexico as we speak. — ed]

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

The NRA apparently sent some wheelbarrows full of cash to Bill Amend’s house:

Curse that Bill Amend.

.50 Caliber Terror: Pneumatic Edition

Fifty caliber rifles have terrorized America in many different forms. Well, the VPC Blog has discovered an entirely new and frightening form of the Five-Zero Horror:

It can slay dragons.

The Fifty Caliber Air Rifle. There’s even a video demonstration:

This air gun, made in South Korea, is capable of killing a man. We have not yet tested its effectiveness against airplanes, but we are positive helicopters are in danger.

Worst of all, it doesn’t count as a firearm, so any schoolchild in America can purchase one. It is only a matter of time before terrorists and South Side Ballas wield this weapon. Call and write to your Congressman today. Better yet, give money to the Brady Campaign. They need it.

Ronnie Barrett could not be reached for comment.