.50 Caliber Terror: Pneumatic Edition

Fifty caliber rifles have terrorized America in many different forms. Well, the VPC Blog has discovered an entirely new and frightening form of the Five-Zero Horror:

It can slay dragons.

The Fifty Caliber Air Rifle. There’s even a video demonstration:

This air gun, made in South Korea, is capable of killing a man. We have not yet tested its effectiveness against airplanes, but we are positive helicopters are in danger.

Worst of all, it doesn’t count as a firearm, so any schoolchild in America can purchase one. It is only a matter of time before terrorists and South Side Ballas wield this weapon. Call and write to your Congressman today. Better yet, give money to the Brady Campaign. They need it.

Ronnie Barrett could not be reached for comment.

.50 BMG In Action

The Gun Blobbers claim that .50 Caliber Terror Rifles are not as dangerous as everyone, including military and law enforcement experts, knows them to be. Well, we have a surprise for them. We’ve assembled video proof of the sheer destructive power of these rifles. Behold:

Please forgive the use of black and white film at the end. The destructive energy waves forced us to use a simple, yet durable camera.

Hat tip to Mike Magnum @ The Gun Guys. Without him, nobody would know about the dangers of the .50 Caliber Terror Rifle.

Meet the .50s: .50s Around the World

In order to exhibit the worldwide craze over anti-armor rifles, we at the VPC Blog have produced a colored map to display every country that produces a .50 Caliber Terror Rifle or similar anti-armor (or, as the Gun Blobbers call it, “anti-matériel”) rifles.

The list includes a notable set of “rogue states”:

• Austria
• China
• Croatia
• Czech Republic
• France
• Great Britain
• Hungary
• India
• Poland
• Russia
• Serbia
• South Africa
• Switzerland
• Turkey
• USA [Produces more .50 BMG rifles than all other nations combined. Thanks a lot, Ronnie Barrett. — ed]

This proliferation of anti-armor rifles can largely be blamed on the infamous Ronnie Barrett (pictured). We all remember his fantastic adventures, don’t we? He inspired and profited from the development of all other Terror Rifles.

The rapid spread of these weapons is why it is so important to halt foreign sales of .50 Caliber Terror Rifles to civilians; there is clear demand for them, therefore terrorists are likely to seek them out and buy them from Ronnie Barrett himself. However, we do not have to worry much about the other countries producing anti-armor rifles. China, Russia, Croatia, and Serbia are much more trustworthy than Ronnie Barrett. After all, it’s not like they’ve ever indiscriminately sold weapons before. It’s even less likely for a Law Enforcement Organization to buy these rifles and pass them off to terrorists.

In the next installment, we should have a new map on .50 Caliber Proliferation, displaying all countries buying and operating .50 Caliber Terror Rifles sourced from the Producer Countries.

Ronnie Barrett: Insidious Time Traveler

At last we come to the Master of Disaster, Ronnie Barrett. The “Official History” of Ronnie Barrett is that he created his .50 BMG Terror Rifle in the 1980s for the purpose of long-range target shooting. Carlos Hathcock had promoted the idea, but Barrett built a dedicated platform for the concept. Some people try to excuse this behavior, arguing that “anti-matériel” (in reality, anti-armor and anti-police) rifles have existed for nearly one hundred years.

The truth is that Ronnie has the ability to Quantum Leap. He went back in time to World War I and invented anti-armor rifles. His rifles were first used by the British to kill snipers advancing under steel plates and later used by the Germans to destroy tanks. Then, throughout the 1920s and 1930s, he invented even more deadly versions of his Terror Rifle. This included the PTRD, the model 35, the Lahti L-39, and many others. These rifles were used to destroy tanks, trucks, and even aircraft during World War II and the Korean War. As deadly as those were, somehow they weren’t deadly enough, and he continued searching for the perfect, even more deadly Terror Rifle.

After the 1968 Gun Control Act (Peace Be Upon It), restricting all firearms above .50 caliber, Barrett’s pyromaniacal desires had to be sated. He influenced Carlos Hathcock to use a .50 BMG rifle, so as to later motivate the military to buy his future rifles. Finally, in the 1980s, Ronnie Barret developed a rifle capable of hitting hard with great range of terror. And, best of all, it was perfectly legal for civilians to own.

Ronnie Barrett’s machinations have largely been successful, and society is paying the price for it. A proper legal response now is to implement numerous cumbersome federal laws upon all gun owners, such as:

• Halt foreign sales of .50 BMG weapons.
• Add all .50 BMG rifles to the NFA registry.
• Bar Doctor Samuel Beckett from ever working on the Quantum Leap project. The Gun Blobbers may argue that this will create a time paradox, but it’s just Common Sense.

Truly, Ronnie Barrett is the Alpha and the Omega of anti-armor rifles. But, if these steps are followed, that can be prevented.

Neighborhood Air Defense

Ah, the NRA and the Gun Blobby loves it when people own destructive military weaponry.

Why, look at this picture of an NRA-approved neighborhood watch assaulting a jetliner carrying hundreds of puppies.

That’s just one part of the military manual that recommends using .50 BMG rifles to shoot down aircraft. It even states, “Small arms fire against aerial platforms can be effective.”

But, the Gun Blobbers protest, “In those pictures, they use multiple machine guns. And the manual doesn’t even mention .50 BMG rifles, yet it sees fit to mention using tank guns and anti-tank missiles.” Look, all assault weapons are the same, particularly if the use the same caliber. If that manual says a .30 caliber machine gun can shoot down an aircraft, then, logically, a .30 caliber sniper rifle or assault weapon can perform the same feat. The same goes for the .50 BMG.

“But snipers are highly skilled and trained units,” they complain, “Any hits by a novice would be due to pure luck.” A-ha! So, they admit an aircraft can be hit by ground fire. That means it’s only a matter of time until an aircraft gets shot down.

“But the chances of that happening are like losing an entire plane to a bird strike,” they clarify. Yes, but it can happen. They’ve admitted it. It’s over. Besides, during World War II, the Finns and Russians shot down aircraft using their anti-police rifles anyway.

“But we don’t know all the facts regarding those alleged shoot-downs,” they go on, “They may have shot the pilot, or used high explosive ammo, or it could be propaganda. We don’t know for sure.” Details, details! Details don’t change the facts. At the very least, helicopters face extreme danger from .50 BMG rifles.

To which they respond, “But helicopters are weak as shit. You could knock most down with a large rock. That’s why they have higher loss-ratios than fixed-wing aircraft. If a helicopter is not moving, you can hit the pilot using any sort of rifle.” Silly Gun Blobbers, terrorists aren’t smart enough to aim for pilots, but they most certainly are smart enough to aim for rotors and engines.

“All we’re saying is, it’s not an anti-aircraft gun,” they interject. Of course it is. Shut up.

In closing, don’t be haters. VPC4Life.

Other Superheroes at Risk due to the .50 BMG

In our introductory post on the .50 Caliber Terror Rifle, we mentioned that Superman faced certain death due to this weapon. Unsurprisingly, our investigation has revealed that numerous other superheroes can also be killed by this horrific weapon.

The list includes:

• Wonder Woman
• Green Lantern
• Batman — The .50 BMG can surely destroy the Batmobile and Batplane.
• Spiderman
• The Incredible Hulk
• The entirety of the X-Men

This is not a complete list, of course, because virtually every superhero is vulnerable to the Terror Rifle. It would be easier to list superheroes who aren’t at risk; the only one being the Martian Manhunter due to his ability to pass through solid matter. Even then, the Martian Manhunter is still hurt just a little due to the shear power of the .50 BMG.

Sure, the Gun Blobbers may claim that the .50 BMG can also be used to kill evil supervillains as well, such as Red Omega or Juggernaut, but that doesn’t matter. If one bad crime could possibly occur, the weapon should be banned. That is a sensible standard and one the entire nation should adopt.

.50 Caliber Terror

Delving right into things, let’s talk about the evil .50 BMG weapon. The NRA and their bigoted cohorts known as the Gun Lobby Gun Bloggers (hereafter referred to as “Gun Blobbers”) make excuses for the existence of such a weapon. They claim that, technically, more powerful rifles can be made and, in fact, have been made. They also claim that it is incredibly unlikely that a jet airliner could suffer enough damage to bring it down, or that a terrorist likely won’t even hit the target. They further question how we can be sure a terrorist would even target a jetliner with a rifle of such limited power.

Here is our answer:

Because we say so.

Let’s look at some facts. A .50 BMG round can:

• Crack an engine block.
• Crack the engine of a plane and, absolutely positively, kill everyone on board easily.
• Kill Superman.

Yes, the Man of Steel can be easily killed by this bullet. The .50 BMG round can penetrate over one inch of steel. Superman’s skin is only the equivalent of half-an-inch of steel armor. Lex Luthor is sure to buy this weapon, kill Superman, then shoot down a hundred airliners, including Air Force One. With Superman dead, they’ll be no one available to save those airliners from crashing. Our most vital component of aviation safety will have been disabled.

Ronnie Barrett must therefore be barred from making these firearms ever again.