Guns ‘n’ Mexico

The ATF has stated that “over 90 percent of the traced firearms originate from the U.S.”

Logically, this means that 90% of the firearms in Mexico have a U.S. origin.  Any Brady Campaign-endorsed Logician should agree with that statement.

Here are percentages of weapons and other contraband that come from the U.S.:

• 90% of all grenades
• 90% of all rocket launchers
• 90% of all artillery pieces
• Bizarrely, 90% of all drugs come from the U.S. as well.
• 90% of assault weapons (remember, that’s the even more deadly semi-automatic version; not the just-plain-deadly full-auto version)
• 90% of all Rickrolls

There are over 100 million AK-type rifles in world today. All of them are apparently located within the United States. That’s why 90% of the cartels’ guns come from the U.S. All other areas of the world are gun free and absolutely peaceful.

The RPG-7 can be purchased in any of the many gun stores in the United States. We swear.

What’s most important is that everyone who is reading this should just stop thinking and do whatever the Violence Policy Center, the Brady Campaign, and Barack Obama order us to do.

.30 Caliber Terror

The world has yet to heed the warnings of the VPC regarding .50 caliber rifles, but there is a new threat on the horizon: .30 caliber rifles.  These deadly military arms are flooding onto The Streets and threatening the safety of our communities.

Babar -- Assassinated by Robert Mugabe.

Just how deadly is the .30 Caliber? 95% of all small arms casualties in World War I and World War II were caused by .30 caliber rifles.  They also shot down 95% of planes during World War I and a significant number of planes during World War II. Additionally, poachers in Africa frequently use .30 caliber machine guns to kill innocent elephants.  The bipedal head-of-state Babar was killed in such a manner. Even today, .30 caliber weapons cause a tremendous number of deaths worldwide.

Gun Whackos like to claim that .30 caliber rifles have legitimate sporting use, but we found out the truth. The range of a .30 caliber sniper rifle is 1,000 meters; ten times what a deer hunter needs. Some can even reach out to 1,500 meters; twenty times what a deer hunter needs. What legitimate, AHSA-approved hunter needs to shoot 1,000 yards?  None, that’s who.

Not only can .30 caliber rifles shoot a great distance, they can also penetrate armor. The Polish invented a deadly, anti-tank .30 caliber rifle. It could punch through over half an inch of armor at 300 meters. Clearly, it has the range and power to down an airplane.

How many innocent German tanks were destroyed by this deadly anti-armor weapon? We'll never know.

There are armor piercing, incendiary, and explosive ammunition available for .30 caliber rifles, just like .50 caliber rifles. During World War I and II, incendiary and explosive ammunition were quite effective against airplanes and hydrogen-filled Zeppelins.  In fact, massive Zeppelins could be destroyed by a single incendiary .30 caliber bullet.  The logical result is, of course, that a single hit will down a 747.  Security experts have so far ignored our warnings.

Clearly, an infantry rifle is the greatest threat against aircraft in the world.

During the interwar period, the Japanese changed from 6.5 mm ammunition to .30 caliber just for the increased deadliness and anti-materiel abilities (a.k.a. shoot-down-planes for the uninitiated).  The British armed their planes with .303 British machine guns and devastated the German Luftwaffe in the Battle of Britain.  Even the U.S. mounted a pair of .30 caliber machine guns to defend their Dauntless dive bombers.  Truly, the .30 caliber round is one which devastates aircraft.

Think that’s bad? Well, certain .30 caliber handguns can punch through Kevlar and kill cops.  That’s right: .30 caliber is the perfect cop-killing ammunition for gang-bangers and moonshiners.  Read about it in our next report: “Vest Busters II: 7.62 Boogaloo.”

NRA Hypocritically Endorses McCain

John McCain, who only earns a “C” from the NRA, has been endorsed by the National Rifle Association.  Clearly, they flip-flopped.  And it wasn’t just because John McCain was the mastermind of the McCain-Feingold Act which would hamper NRA efforts in fund-raising. The NRA always, and forever, hated John McCain.  Perhaps the pedants out there will say that the NRA endorsement of John McCain just proves how bad Obama is on guns.  Well, the VPC Blog says they’re racist for even suggesting that.  Obama is pro-sportsmen; the AHSA even says so!

McCain isn’t very representative of gun owners anyway. His crimes are:

• Does not support an assault weapons ban.  (Assault weapons which terrorists use to kill cops and children.)
• Endorsed the 5-4 decision in D.C. v Heller.  (A decision which defies all logic and reason.)
• Supports the sale of cop-killing hunting ammunition.  (Caused by a loophole in the original bullet ban.)
• Supports the sale of .30 caliber anti-aircraft ammunition.  (The deadly .303 Brit shot down numerous German aircraft during World War II.)
• Picked Sarah Palin to be his Vice Presidential candidate. (An inexperienced moose hunter.  Everyone knows that real hunters don’t hunt moose.)
• Has dared to question Barack’s position on guns.
• Is not endorsed by the American Hunters and Shooters Association.

As we all know, Barack Obama supports all gun owners and has defended them on numerous occasions.  Why, he’s even defended them against the NRA, which doesn’t really represent gun owners like the AHSA.  If the NRA is so representative, why aren’t they doing anything about conservation?  Barack Obama will protect our wildlands, to the degree that even hunting will not be allowed.  Then, everyone can enjoy nature in the same way.

Why do you think Barack Obama joined the Joyce Foundation?  To protect hunters, of course!

(This message has been approved by the Sierra Club and the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.)

Unpossible

Somehow, members of the Gun Blobby produced a video showing how “easy” it is to stop a .50 Caliber Terror Rifle.

We suspect they used complex CGI to generate this scene. (Possibly borrowing a super-computer from Dave Hardy.) A mere tube of metal cannot stop an anti-armor, anti-tank, anti-aircraft, anti-superhero rifle.

The only other explanation is that this tube is made out of Unobtainium. Those tricky bastards in the Gun Blobby know it is almost impossible to obtain Unobtainium; it’s damn near unpossible. We certainly can’t coat massive jetliners with it. Once again, the Gun Blobby toys with our communities. And our Lives.

Ronnie Barrett yet again could not be reached for comment. [He’s probably smuggling .50 Caliber Terror Rifles to Mexico as we speak. — ed]

.50 Caliber Terror: Pneumatic Edition

Fifty caliber rifles have terrorized America in many different forms. Well, the VPC Blog has discovered an entirely new and frightening form of the Five-Zero Horror:

It can slay dragons.

The Fifty Caliber Air Rifle. There’s even a video demonstration:

This air gun, made in South Korea, is capable of killing a man. We have not yet tested its effectiveness against airplanes, but we are positive helicopters are in danger.

Worst of all, it doesn’t count as a firearm, so any schoolchild in America can purchase one. It is only a matter of time before terrorists and South Side Ballas wield this weapon. Call and write to your Congressman today. Better yet, give money to the Brady Campaign. They need it.

Ronnie Barrett could not be reached for comment.

Mata Caballero

For those not in the know, the title means “Knight Killer”. That’s the name that Spanish gangsters gave to the new breed of weapons capable of piercing platemail. These anti-armor handguns and rifles continue to show up on the streets of Madrid and Toledo. Of the many thousands confiscated, 90% can be tracked back to the United States. Spanish steel is no match for this threat.

This piece of armor encountered a thug with a "Mata Caballero". This rifle can pierce steel armor. Concealable Mata Caballeros.

Gun Manufacturers continue to create increasingly powerful firearms capable of killing our brave knights. D.C. versus Heller proved that Reasonable Restrictions, such as restrictions on armor piercing ammunition, are constitutional. The VPC Blog recommends that all firearms capable of piercing platemail be banned from sale within the United States and restrictions placed on their export.

Civil War Terror

The Gun Blobbers could not be satisfied with the terrible destructive power of .50 BMG rifles. Their insanity demanded it be taken one step further. Behold, a “hunting rifle” with a two-inch bore:

It’s pretty obvious you can’t hunt with this, yet the Gun Blobbers insist on their “right” to own such a monstrosity. Cannons such as these have over 100,000 foot-pounds* of power, while .50 BMG rifles only have 15,000 foot-pounds of power. It goes without saying that cannons of such power can easily knock down helicopters, especially when they employ the dreaded “canister shot”**.

Fact: civilians in the United States can own cannons with very little regulation. They come in a variety of sizes: 1-inch, 2-inch, 3-inch, and even 6-inch bores. However, the most disturbing of all is the “Parrot Rifle”:

It has over 1.3 million foot-pounds of even-more-deadly energy. It’s an anti-fort weapon for Christ’s sake! And any child in America could go out and buy one!

The answer is clear: we must shut down Dixie Gun Works and any other so-called “cannon manufacturer”. It’s the only way to make sure terrorists don’t get their hands on one of these.

Edited to Add: Hat tip to our good friend Mike Magnum @ The Gun Guys.

*Foot-pounds is a unit of force that indicates how many people will be maimed by firearms.

**So named because a person’s remains will fit into a canister.

LOLGuns

New Sniper Threat

According to the FBI, there were two sniper attacks in 2006. One was committed with a rifle [undoubtedly a .50 Caliber Rifle –ed] and the other one involved a handgun. This disturbs us greatly. The Gun Lobby is now producing sniper-capable handguns for the civilian market. We can only assume these handguns fire deadly .50 Action Express ammunition*. Potentially, these .50 Caliber Handguns are even more deadly than sniper rifles as a terrorist could shoot down a plane from the inside.

*.50 AE is only slightly less powerful than .50 BMG.

Bob Ricker Phones Home

Earlier today, Bob Ricker had an important telephone conversation with his wife. With his permission, we present it for your viewing, below the fold.